“Is this the right thing to do? Am I a bad mother?”
Those thoughts had haunted Hy’s mind for years when she made the tough decision to leave her abusive husband and took her daughter with her.
As a child, Hy always felt like a black sheep in her family because she was diagnosed with the chronic skin disease condition, vitiligo. Having an abnormal appearance come hardship, as it became a plausible reason for anything-bad happening to Hy.
“It was too good for me to have someone married to me. It was fine when he beat me. It was fine when he threatened me. It was fine. It was okay”.
However, things changed when one day her daughter became endangered by her hot-tempered father. At that moment, she just knew she had to do whatever it takes to keep her child safe.
Through seeking a safe refuge house in Hanoi, Hy was connected with Hagar. As soon as she entered our care, Hy and her daughter were provided with a safe place to live and medical treatment for her unrecovered injuries. Our team also understood that the physical wounds were the tip of the iceberg and that Hy was also carrying deep emotional wounds from enduring years of abuse.
With several counselling sessions, Hy was able to take steps forward to open herself to seeing her natural beauty and self-worth.
“I used to think that it was my fault when my husband did bad things to me and I deserved that. [That] I am not a good wife or a good daughter to my family when I ran away from him. However, the most important [thing is], I could not give my daughter a whole family like others. Therefore, when I came to Hagar, above from other support we received, Hagar helped me find a priceless hidden treasure that was self-confidence and self-embracing. I understand that domestic violence can happen to anyone and I am not the only case. There is no right reason for him or anyone else to hurt me. I will never be the one to blame for what happened to me.”
To get the best picture of Hy at present, “influence” might be the right word to use. Since 2015, Hy has always been an active client who frequently participates in Hagar’s life-skills activity frequently.
Recently, Hy reentered one of Hagar’s economic empowerment programs, as her job was significantly impacted by COVID. With nutrient support from Hagar, Hy and her daughter have overcome the most difficult time. Now Hy’s life is more independent and happier than ever. At the age of 40, she started studying English along with oriental medicine. Moreover, Hy has the confidence to talk about her past and feels brave to raise her voice through Hagar’s portrait photography campaign.